had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize