i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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