if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
