I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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