Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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