that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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