At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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