so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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