At least make sure they are 18
Why
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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