next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
