i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I want a musical about memes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
