She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hippo gnu deer
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
