i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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