So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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