just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
