if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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