my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You did what with his pubic hair?
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