There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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