Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
