You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
