Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
