I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
