Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
