She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
