D3 body, D1 cock
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
