Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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