booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
