C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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