Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
