Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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