We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
