did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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