dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!