Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house

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(512): My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house http://tfl.nu/7hx1

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(516): View more from New York

She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.

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(516): She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food. http://tfl.nu/a6vh

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(317): View more from Indiana

she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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(317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052

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(650): View more from California

If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance

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(650): If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance http://tfl.nu/4709

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(561): View more from Florida

I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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(561): I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead." http://tfl.nu/np5o

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(319): View more from Iowa

This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.

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(319): This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner. http://tfl.nu/r7j7

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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(+44): Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing. http://tfl.nu/5vch

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(916): View more from California

It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.

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(916): It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie. http://tfl.nu/mir1

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(406): View more from Montana

The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.

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(406): The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home. http://tfl.nu/zgt5

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal

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(905): I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal http://tfl.nu/u38b

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"

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(303): I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis" http://tfl.nu/qqqf

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(616): View more from Michigan

Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado

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(616): Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado http://tfl.nu/cd6c

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(907): View more from Alaska

Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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(907): Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea http://tfl.nu/9w6p

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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(717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l

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