Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed