Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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(734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44

Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (1882)
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(419): View more from Ohio

there is no way he can be that small

(1-419): View more from Ohio

look on the bright side he'll over comepensate

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(419): there is no way he can be that small (1-419): look on the bright side he'll over comepensate http://tfl.nu/8mfj

Replies (18) Good night (752) Bad night (2701)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

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(401): My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vsf5

Replies (9) Good night (3692) Bad night (1190)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

you didn't get her number why?

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(724): So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends. (1-724): you didn't get her number why? http://tfl.nu/gt6x

Replies (7) Good night (2886) Bad night (1651)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.

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(601): And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob. http://tfl.nu/lvxa

Replies (8) Good night (2623) Bad night (959)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on

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(774): Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on http://tfl.nu/movk

Replies (5) Good night (2403) Bad night (829)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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(802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd

Replies (9) Good night (1442) Bad night (989)
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(712): View more from Iowa

On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair

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(712): On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair http://tfl.nu/1z3p

Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (678)
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(757): View more from Virginia

think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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(757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg

Replies (5) Good night (785) Bad night (484)
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(987): View more from

Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.

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(987): Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes. http://tfl.nu/pzcq

Replies (7) Good night (1187) Bad night (455)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed

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(513): I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed http://tfl.nu/fex2

Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (370)
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(850): View more from Florida

Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.

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(850): Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts. http://tfl.nu/2gw3

Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (508)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home

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(775): He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home http://tfl.nu/6g10

Replies (6) Good night (1143) Bad night (522)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.

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(517): Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list. http://tfl.nu/9khc

Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (488)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.

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(847): I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week. http://tfl.nu/9vnm

Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (181)

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