Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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  (818): people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/8h1f
  Replies (7) Good night (3000) Bad night (524)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again

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  (301): Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again http://tfl.nu/89sh
  Replies (29) Good night (1021) Bad night (2849)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off

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  (215): you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off http://tfl.nu/9bti
  Replies (86) Good night (1374) Bad night (10357)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
  Replies (9) Good night (3087) Bad night (1010)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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  (917): i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing http://tfl.nu/u02m
  Replies (21) Good night (5288) Bad night (1830)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.

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  (315): Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over. http://tfl.nu/878e
  Replies (40) Good night (1560) Bad night (7280)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.

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  (330): Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron. http://tfl.nu/yv9g
  Replies (5) Good night (4104) Bad night (753)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.

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  (518): I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere. http://tfl.nu/r42x
  Replies (13) Good night (1314) Bad night (4436)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable

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  (612): Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable http://tfl.nu/0g8x
  Replies (3) Good night (1696) Bad night (676)
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  (310): View more from California

  That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

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  (310): That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch http://tfl.nu/7p4s
  Replies (2) Good night (2345) Bad night (413)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail

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  (701): Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail http://tfl.nu/z3o8
  Replies (5) Good night (942) Bad night (515)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (280)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Woke up in time for my 8:15

  (518): View more from New York

  Good for you I'm impressed

  (561): View more from Florida

  I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

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  (561): Woke up in time for my 8:15 (518): Good for you I'm impressed (561): I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester http://tfl.nu/b7yv
  Replies (2) Good night (931) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?

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  (202): Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/ofgw
  Replies (6) Good night (543) Bad night (330)
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  (805): View more from California

  The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.

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  (805): The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it. http://tfl.nu/fb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (222)

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