Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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  (305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f
  Replies (41) Good night (953) Bad night (4475)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1399) Bad night (10109)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true

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  (719): Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true http://tfl.nu/xhyv
  Replies (20) Good night (4729) Bad night (713)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1074) Bad night (5418)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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  (647): he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it http://tfl.nu/1z9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4423) Bad night (1676)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far

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  (609): We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far http://tfl.nu/58dc
  Replies (11) Good night (5784) Bad night (1221)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4696) Bad night (1861)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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  (646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (1597)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either

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  (503): since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either http://tfl.nu/9xmp
  Replies (11) Good night (2411) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.

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  (217): While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month. http://tfl.nu/gp1m
  Replies (19) Good night (854) Bad night (4440)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.

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  (314): No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was. http://tfl.nu/6619
  Replies (2) Good night (1401) Bad night (449)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (564) Bad night (844)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.

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  (609): So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/54rj
  Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.

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  (541): And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual. http://tfl.nu/zw2q
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes

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  (815): You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes http://tfl.nu/jvzn
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (388)

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