Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
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He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.