Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

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  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (907) Bad night (3218)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

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  (908): i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less http://tfl.nu/aust
  Replies (35) Good night (6365) Bad night (527)
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  (631): View more from New York

  hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies

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  (631): hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies http://tfl.nu/d8pj
  Replies (34) Good night (7156) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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  (845): If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one? http://tfl.nu/fmgu
  Replies (11) Good night (802) Bad night (3896)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.

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  (512): Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food. http://tfl.nu/f716
  Replies (19) Good night (1719) Bad night (4012)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.

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  (775): Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I. http://tfl.nu/56to
  Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (2525)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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  (678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x
  Replies (5) Good night (1403) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (2478)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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  (917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie
  Replies (7) Good night (779) Bad night (1569)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?

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  (850): My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans? (1-850): It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it? http://tfl.nu/e1h9
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night

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  (785): This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/pu91
  Replies (6) Good night (1056) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

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  (770): Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week. http://tfl.nu/3id8
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

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  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  ...and?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hate when you're right.

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  (928): YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!? (1-928): ...and? (928): I hate when you're right. http://tfl.nu/4pb8
  Replies (10) Good night (949) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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  (574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k
  Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (569)

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