Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
