Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
