my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm too high and old for this...
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