I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
