Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
