he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
