how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
