He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
