he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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