i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
