im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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