I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
