i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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