I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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