Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
