my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Randomize
