I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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