I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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