A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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