On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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