I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
