all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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