she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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