I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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