WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
