What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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