it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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